Uma série de duas temporadas apresenta um rapaz magro, bem alto e cheio de adereços. Ele junta um grupo de jovens desajustados sem nenhuma experiência em ficar com mulheres. Seu objetivo: torná-los mestres na arte de pegação.
Alguns anos depois surge este livro, uma versão atualizada em que Mistery, o rapaz magro, irá narrar alguns momentos junto de seus "dudes" e como consequência dar aquelas dicas matadoras na arte do sexo e amor.
I honestly feel like I am a master at this. Not because I can get any woman—that, of course, is impossible—but because my pickups are so controlled and smooth; not sleazy, but rather natural. I love women. I especially love the adventure and the companionship. I love being in a strange girl’s apartment. She takes care of me and I feel like a king. And when I leave, I go to another girl’s place and get the same great treatment all over again.
You might feel lonely and decide to go out, and within two hours your life changes. You meet a girl and she is attracted to you. And she’s hot. And you are at her house listening to new music and eating new foods and exploring a new life. They have issues you can listen to and learn from. It’s a great big soap opera and you are the star.
Say it with me: Find, meet, attract, close. Find, meet, attract, close. The details and subtleties, however, are the heart of the system.
“We just want everyone to have as much fun as we do, because so many guys in the bar don’t know what they are doing.”
MYSTERY’S TOP 10 TIPS 1) Get into the habit of starting conversations just for the practice. Release your outcome and be relaxed in the process. 2) Between approaches, always remember to smile while mingling. 3) Lean back and relax when you initiate conversations. Don’t lean in. Speak slowly and expressively. This alone will improve your game by 300 percent. 4) Be chatty—really—and convey a strong sense of fascination. Talk about relationships and the mysterious, and use lots of humor as well as emotional and sensory descriptions. Enthusiasm is contagious. 5) Don’t say anything to impress her, such as bragging about your job, girls, or friends. Instead, indirectly convey value via demonstration and incidental story details. If she can tell that you are trying to impress her, she will perceive you as lower value. 6) Don’t act as if anything is a big deal. Be fun and playful. Vibe with her, but don’t react to her. Act the same way you would act with your eight-year-old niece. 7) As you hang out with her, and she has an opportunity to win you over, then show her your increasing interest. She must recognize that she has genuinely won you over with her personality. 8) Balance indicators of interest with indicators of disinterest. Do this both in your conversation with her and also as you escalate with her physically. This has a great effect. 9) Wear one accessory that gives other people an excuse to initiate a conversation with you, such as a hat, or a certain ring or necklace. Have a good story prepared for when this happens. 10) Have a life. Go to the gym and stay in shape, and continually improve your wardrobe. Cultivate your circle of female friends. Throw parties. Put effort into your social circle. A girl should imagine herself being a part of your cool life.
Lesson One: Women give off signals when they are attracted to you.
Lesson Two: Touching should be a normal and constant part of the way you interact with other people, from the very beginning. There should never be some big moment, but instead a series of tiny little moments, and they’re always no big deal.
Lesson Three: Force yourself to start using innocuous social touches as a normal part of your conversation with a woman, such as touching her shoulder as you say something to her. Just force yourself to use more touching during your social interactions.
Lesson Four: Touch her absentmindedly, as though you yourself are not even aware that you are touching her.
Lesson Five: Whenever you do something that signals that you are interested in her, such as touching her shoulder, then soften the impact of that interest by also doing something to signal disinterest, such as looking away while you touch her. Of course, that is only an example—be sure to play around with various combinations.
Lesson Six: Your touches should appear as though they are a natural part of your words, even though they may be completely unrelated, logically, to whatever you are actually saying.
Lesson Seven: Touch and release, touch and release. You are the one who makes the move, and you are also the one who pushes it away. She will never be in a position to “reject” you because you already pushed her away first.
Lesson Eight: Always use baby steps to get what you want. Never try to get too much at once.
Lesson Nine: It’s not about avoiding rejection; it’s about responding to it attractively.
Even when a woman doesn’t go along with your move, don’t react in the slightest! Act completely normal. You’re just the kind of guy who likes to have fun and who doesn’t take anything too seriously. Act as if you didn’t really even notice what happened. In fact, feel free to keep making moves on her as long as she remains in your proximity.
Lesson Ten: Disinterest creates feelings of comfort. If she is being resistant to your touch, then use more disinterest. For example, toss her hand away, turn your body away from her, or talk to someone else in the group. Do not do this as though you are trying to punish her, but rather as though it’s no big deal.
Lesson Eleven: Whenever a woman is compliant to one of your moves, reward her with your growing attention and appreciation. In other words, give her your green lights, but only when she feels like she has earned it. Get her to work for it.
But emotions don’t understand logical ideas like that. Emotions are preprogrammed behavioral modifiers hardwired into your brain through one hundred and twenty thousand years of natural selection in human evolution. It is in fact these built-in motivators (called emotions) that assisted millions of people before you to live long enough and motivated these ancestors to mate. In other words, look at emotions as indicators telling you what your body believes is most important to you.”
I said, “Look at it this way. Have you ever been having sex with a girl and you think to yourself, ‘Why is she letting me do this? Me! Why!?’ Well, they do. So stop asking yourself that. Just enjoy it. The same is true when you are conversing with a girl. Don’t bother thinking, Why is she letting me talk to her?! It’s insecure of you and that doesn’t look good. People can feel it. Just relax. It’s a Zen thing.”
|YIN / THE GHOST||YANG / THE FLAME|
|Relaxed, chill||Having fun, laughing|
|Not needy||Always adding value|
|No agenda||Makes things happen|
|Not trying to impress||Warm, friendly|
|Not trying at all||Competent, a winner|
|No big deal||Enthusiastic|
|Dependable, solid||Exciting, crazy|
Lovedrop continued: “The list that you see on the mirror represents the ideal vibe for interacting socially, and for being attractive to women. The Ghost and the Flame. We like to call this ‘the Zen of Cool.’ I believe that once you get this right, you don’t need any other game. Go ahead and write the list down in your notes.
“Remember, people react more to those of higher value, and by reacting, they lose value in comparison. Do the opposite. React less, and you will come across as higher value. Be ‘cool.’ People can sense this vibe and they will find you attractive. When you react less to them, it causes other people to react more to you. This is why it’s so important to speak slowly, with pauses, and to move slowly, avoiding fidgeting, and to lean back instead of leaning in, and to open over your shoulder, and so on.
“So, suggestion: Walk up to strangers and behave in your mind as if you know them. Just start talking to strangers about what’s on your mind. I do this and it really helps.
“The Ghost is about being unaffected by things. In part, it’s about not getting caught up in a wave of negative emotion, even and especially when someone is out of line.
“You were attempting to educate them here. That is not your job. Don’t bother educating people when they are stupid. Just leave. Once you go into damage control, just leave. Move on. It’s more mature and more efficient. Be an artist, not a guy.”
“Acting normal around beautiful women is a way of conveying preselection. That is, conveying that there are other beautiful women in our lives. Women are women everywhere. Behaviors are preprogrammed by a woman’s genes. Her genes are selfish and wish to replicate with the help of the best males. Show you are the best by acting like you get lots of girls. Not by saying this—you could be lying—but by behaving as if you get them. Act normal around beautiful girls and this will indicate that you’re used to being around them.”
“Girls generally dislike a shy guy. They want a man who is outgoing. Once you have agreed with this statement, it becomes your job to play outgoing. You can be shy, but you hide that fact. It is a must to be outgoing. I don’t think acting shy helps you out. Now, if the girl is shy, be outgoing still, just not so outgoing that you blow her out.
“Let us kindly differentiate between a nice guy and a gentleman. Like Satan himself, a womanizer or pickup artist is a gentleman, but not a nice guy. A gentleman will open the door for a lady, but won’t for a bitch. But he will smile as the door closes on her—see Rhett Butler. A nice guy will open doors for all the bitches in the world and get no thank-yous and will still do it.
“This difficulty you have, Nice Guy, to tell someone to fuck off when you need to, tells me you have a problem with self-esteem. You need to set your rules and live by them. And when people break the rules, they pay the price. That is the type of man a ten wants. The man with the plan. Take charge. When you don’t know the answer, get in there anyway. Attitude beats knowledge. Don’t worry about what others think. Girls want a man in charge.
“What if things go wrong?” asked Adam. “Find a new girl instead of fixing things,” I replied. “Thing is, I noticed it’s easier to just find a new girl than to work on damage control issues.”
“I suggest hunting with the sex in mind first,” I replied, “and then, the relationship is an option afterward. To hunt for a relationship first keeps you from having sex, keeps you from learning, scares many girls away, and prolongs the relationship from becoming deep. Get things sexual first, then choose how far you want the relationship to go from there. It’s more logical, more efficient, more reliable to getting long-term relationships, and, well, more fun. Why chase only for relationships when you can do that and see many girls until the right relationship girl comes along?”
“When I don’t feel like going out,” I replied, “I have my friends force me. When I don’t feel like getting dressed I have my friends say, ‘Dude, get dressed.’ When I am in the car not wanting to go in because I’m tired, I say to myself, ‘Just take a look inside.’ When I get in and I don’t want to enter a set I think, If I don’t, I’ll stale the room and blow my cover. If I have a bad set, I say, ‘Recover soldier,’ and press on. If it’s five minutes from closing and my night was shit, I think, Maybe my dream girl is to be found in the last five minutes. My night may change to a great night! I’ve had that happen before.
“When we go out tonight, get numbers! Go for four of them tonight. That’s about one per hour. How hard is that? You have an hour to meet three women and do it up. One out of three should like you if you act like Rhett. That’s only twelve girls to chat with. Not rocket science. The first is hard; the rest get easy for the day. Tell me how many girls you chatted with. If you say, ‘Only two,’ and didn’t get any numbers, then we know where your problem lies already. If there weren’t girls worthy of getting, you went to the wrong place. So much for the use of your intellect. If you didn’t go for sevens and eights, you messed up. They were practice for you. They could have friends that you do like. They could be friends and join you in your future days of hunting!
A true artist doesn’t use pickup lines. He uses intro scripting. His intros are polished and nonsexist. His routines are natural, humorous, and fun. His attitude toward the subject is that of a professional. He systematically finds the best places and works the rooms. He treats everyone with respect and dignity. Even the other guys. All is fair in love and war, but this war is merely a game. So let’s not kill or hurt anyone on this game of love.
“RULE: Plan your strategy for finding women. Know exactly where you intend to go. Know your city. Know the day. Minimize waste of time by getting there a bit early so you can settle in.
“RULE: Never buy a girl a drink. This makes you seem like every other guy. She may, however, buy you a drink.
“RULE: Avoid drinking too much alcohol when playing the game. Alcohol is an excuse to alter your feeling of ‘fear.’ You decrease your statistical chances of success. Sober people have more reaction time with which to process information.
“RULE: Never give your number to a girl unless there is an exchange. If you get around to asking for her number and she says, ‘I’ll call you,’ just say, ‘No, I’ll call you.’ If she doesn’t give her number, she wouldn’t call you anyway, so just say, ‘Nice meeting you,’ and leave. After a girl does give her number to you, you may then write yours for her as you say, ‘We’ll trade … fair?’ She will smile and say, ‘Fair.’
“Going for fives is just a self-esteem thing, not a skills thing. If you decide to chase nines and tens and only them, then that will be the skill set you get good at. They aren’t harder to get, only different.
“Society has its mating rituals. When a woman wants to find a mate, she will get emotions driving her to seek social situations. She doesn’t bother getting dressed and looking good just to dance. Dancing is even a way of showing the health of the body for a suitor—you! She is seeking a mate. And yes, she will go to a place where there are possible mates. Granted, she will only pick the best. But girls don’t put body and looks high on the priority list. The top three traits are a good smile, a sense of humor, and confidence. The fourth is connection, by the way. So there you go.”
“The problem is,” I replied, “people don’t go to public gatherings without music. When there is no music, many people are too scared to chat with strangers so they feel uncomfortable and don’t go to that place. Thing is, most people aren’t players. A club is actually very logical. You are thinking about only your intentions. See, for a girl, the main reason to be there is to meet a guy. But, they have to do something to look busy while in there. Some need an alternative excuse, like coming to drink with friends, which is utterly absurd. Who the hell really wants to pay five dollars just to get into a noisy place to talk with friends? Then you’ve got the old-style mating ritual: dancing. This shows off your health, vitality, and physique. Everyone has a different way of meeting others. Thing is, players should know the most efficient way. This doesn’t mean the rest of the world does, too. So it looks like noisy clubs are the way. They attract lots of people. What other thing does that without actually taking the people’s attention totally, as a play or concert does? The entire club industry is designed to make money off people wanting to meet a mate.
The benefit of being in a club is quantity. There simply are more opportunities to see women of beauty. With that benefit comes a series of shitty things. Noise, crowds, dark, alcohol, male competition, raised bitch shields are just some, never mind cover charges. But the benefit outweighs all the shit. The solution is to minimize the shit. Here is how: “Noise: Don’t approach girls in the loud areas. There are always a couple of areas of a club that are the least noisy. That is the field. Around the dance floor? That is the trap. You can’t initiate a chat there so why be there? I know, to look at the girls you can’t approach. Fuck that. Stay out of the trap. It’s a trap. Dance floors are not a pickup field. “Crowds: Go early. Approach the bartenders and hostesses early. Get in early. Ten P.M. Get there at nine-thirty P.M. if you have to. This usually saves you money on the cover, too. Solve crowd issues by working crowds. Don’t approach a single girl. Approach a group of people. This allows you the ability to display social proof. At midnight, bail out to another club—it keeps the crowd fresh for you and offers the opportunity to instant-date girls as they join you to the next club. “Dark: Stay in the lit areas. Usually they are the most quiet and least crowded. See, pickup is like fishing. Having a fish on the line is the exception to the general rule. Wait and wait and wait is the general rule. Then a woman comes in from the dance floor and, bam, you yank the line. Hook them. Three-Second Rule it and address the target’s entire group. So in a way, the fishing pole is changed into a net. “Alcohol: It’s hard enough when they’re drunk. A pickup artist’s game is always better when he’s not drunk. Don’t drink, and keep the sharpness—trust me, pal, you’re gonna need it when a girl is in front of you.1 “Male competition: Yes, there are more guys. But they don’t smile. They don’t surround themselves with people and talk talk talk and laugh. They don’t walk around holding the smile on their face. They hold a beer on their chest and lean in and ‘look cool.’ A pickup artist realizes that the only obstacle with regards to other males is that the more faces exist in there, the more busy the vibe will be. Like MTV rather than C-SPAN. Solution: Be MTV yourself! That is why gimmicks are useful. “Bitch shields: Yes, they are higher. But the solution is not to punch through it, but to trick her to lower the shield. How? Group theory and negs. Approach the group while ignoring the target and using negs on her. Disarm the friends with stories and humor, and when they all love you, you can finally turn to the target. By this time the negs sank in and lowered her self-esteem. Her shield down, she wants attention from you, the life of the party—the guy who sort of pushed her out of the spotlight of her own circle of friends. And there you have it. Add more groups so that the next group will have noticed you in a previous group (social proof) and the closes come caving in like a nuclear reaction.
THE STRIPPER RULES RULE: She doesn’t like the word stripper. Use dancer, or exotic dancer. RULE: Don’t assume that just because a woman makes money by peeling off her clothes, she is stupid. On the contrary, they are brighter than most of the men in there. Remember, if she can trick guys into thinking that she likes them, she makes more money. RULE: The minute they dance for you for money, you are a customer and they don’t sleep with customers. So don’t let her dance for you—unless it’s for free. They suffer from low self-esteem but hide it very well. They are dealing with a lot of issues emotionally in their head while they dance for you and because they generally think you don’t respect them after a dance, you can’t get in. Plus now she sees you as a customer. RULE: Don’t stay there long—thirty minutes, max, and only if you are into a chat with one. I initiate chat faster standing than sitting, so I go into a two-set of sitting girls and become more exciting with my conversation than any guy during the entire day. RULE: Enthusiasm is contagious. Act enthused about something that happened to you and so will they. RULE: Convey that your day has been incredible and then proceed to explain why. As if meeting her is completely secondary. Nothing can wreck this day! When a girl comes to sit, I talk my ass off, conveying my personality. I take over. RULE: Don’t buy her a drink, or anything, for that matter. And don’t expect to actually land a stripper you’ve tipped. Sure, tip a girl onstage but that won’t help get her. In fact it will hurt. Keep the money in your pocket—you are there for getting girls, not for the entertainment of only looking at them. You are not a customer, you are a pickup artist. RULE: Have a performer image—appeal to the performer in them. This is where the stereotype comes from that strippers date losers in a rock band, because they are attracted to fellow performers. Use photos because they are so bored in there; a little look at some pics on your cellphone is a welcome escape. Let the photos convey you to be fucking cool. Talk about the excitement onstage. Get them to think outside the club. When leading their imagination, lead them into daylight, not night. Most guys think night only, and convey only this. The fellow performer approach together with the ‘I am the Stripper Boyfriend Type’ has worked for me. RULE: Be the Stripper Boyfriend Type. Stripper boyfriends are different. Once a stripper knows you had a stripper for a girlfriend, she knows your caliber. It was easier to get another stripper once I had already had one. And peacock—wear what you want to attract. Your image needs to back up your game. Trust me, getting a stripper is not harder, only different. Some are very nice girls. It’s just a job, remember. There is a way to get them. I’ve gone out with several dancers, one for two years, so I know the scene. I lived with her. I was one of those stripper boyfriends. Experiment with this line and use it in the clubs with an air of cockiness, yet in a humorous way: ‘Do you know my ex-girlfriend Vanessa? She used to work here. I forget her stage names ‘cause she changed them as often as she did her underwear—once every two weeks. And now you know why she is my ex.’ Use the name Vanessa, too. RULE: Explain that you are well aware that all this is bullshit (the whole concept of stripping). It’s just an entertainment form—good money. No big deal. Then drop the subject and don’t talk about her world again. Bring her to your daylight world. Once she is out to the café or food place after, then you go vampire world on her. Strippers generally love the vampire romance stuff. RULE: Use humor and don’t hit on her, or compliment her. RULE: Treat all strippers as 10s and use negs, because they are in a mental state of control while in their own territory. They hate sniveling losers. Negs work well. RULE: Be slick on the close. Don’t ask for the number. Make them ask you! Better yet, tell her you don’t want to pick her up in the club even though you aren’t a customer. Tell her to meet you outside but also tell her, “Don’t expect much from me—I’m just hungry, okay?” RULE: Most strippers are open-minded—they believe in stupid shit like ESP. Use that. Ghosts, too. Very interesting conversational threads stem from these supernatural beliefs. Many are in fact Wiccan and wear a pentacle—most strippers like rock music and long hair but some like dance music and short hair. Know which type you want, of the two types. Some good conversational topics are God, the soul, UFOs, ESP, telekinesis, mind over matter, ghosts, poltergeist, crop circles, Atlantis, acupuncture, psychoanalysis, parapsychology, Sasquatch, the Loch Ness Monster, heaven, hell, Buddha, aromatherapy, psi powers, psychics, spells, Jesus as anything more than a magician, out-of-body experiences, levitation, twins having a psychic bond, witchcraft, demons, hauntings, exorcisms, Reiki, monogamy as a natural human behavior, and prayer. I’m just throwing it out there. RULE: Be big. Be the center of attention. Don’t think that the quiet seduction will work in the strip club. No sexual shit in the club. Once you have intrigued her enough to join you, she already decided she likes you. RULE: Get to know the DJ—become his buddy. Hang out with him. Go for beers afterward. Seduce him in a way. He will lead you to all the women. RULE: Make her think that you think she wants you. Be a challenge. RULE: Connect using “I live my life one day at a time” frames. RULE: Connect using “So many people are so judgmental about things. You seem really open and fun …” Good luck.
Our goal when opening is merely to start the microcalibration process, and you only need a bit of mundane material to do that effectively, as long as your delivery is good.
Most guys, they approach asking questions, they approach trying to impress, trying to get something. They are all about taking value. But if you’re a pickup artist, you are there to add value, not to take it away.
- You can eject anytime with “That’s my thought for the day,” then turn away. If they were entertained by your pacing, energy, enthusiasm, smile, or sense of humor, they may give you an IOI.
- You turn your back to test them and if they say “So …” and try to reinitiate the conversation, it’s a positive IOI and you may continue with your next routine or just say “Pleasure meeting you” and bail out.
- Once you have consistently gotten your targets laughing with the Elvis Script, you will have learned timing and pacing and such. You will have already begun to see the repeating patterns in all the approaches. Voilà! Now you are free from any need of “killer material”—your delivery is what will hook the set. After that all you need is what we call “the absurd,” which I will teach you soon.
Rather, what you want to do is just toss out a little piece of value. It’s actually better that it’s only a little piece of value, rather than some mind-blowing routine. It’s easier for the set to hook to.
So if you are thinking about it properly, opening isn’t about reciting some magic spell. It’s just about tossing that first piece, and the next piece, and so on.
“You see, the cycle of Bait-Hook-Reel-Release starts in the very beginning, at the opener. And it just continues to cycle outward from there, escalating as she complies first to your approach, and then she complies to vibing with you, and then as you continue to flip her attraction switches, she will comply to jump through your conversational hoops. Eventually she will comply with your physical escalation more and more, as you qualify her and flip her connection switches. Game is really about building compliance, and microcalibration is the process for doing that. Bait-Hook-Reel-Release. And it all starts with the opener.
Notice that what really hooks the set is not the line itself, but the ‘energy, enthusiasm, smile, and sense of humor.’ And, when you are able to get consistent laughs, ‘you will have learned timing and pacing.’
By giving her a back-turn as an indicator of disinterest, I am provoking her to reinitiate the conversation—and preserving her comfort levels in the meantime.
Microcalibration is about tossing out value bit by bit, and then calibrating her responses by giving her IODs when she gives you IODs, and by giving her compliance tests when she gives you IOIs.
Over the years, as she rejects so many men, the repetition causes her to develop autopilot responses for filtering them out more quickly. The typical lines men use have become a trigger in her mind. But I don’t trigger any of her rejection circuits, because I speak to her as one friend to another.
(B) I IMMEDIATELY LEAD HER INTO AN EXPERIENCE. I say things like “I was flying all around here in Google Earth …” and “Look at this seashell. I was walking with some friends …” and “When I was a kid, I went…” Notice how my words focus on stimulating the listener and creating an experience, rather than trying to win approval or get something.
But I do the opposite of this—I show disinterest toward the target, disarming her, but I show great interest in what I am saying. My excitement about my words causes her to also feel excited about my words. She begins to find me intriguing.
(F) I DON’T IMPOSE UPON THE GROUP, I ENTICE THEM. They don’t feel pressured to commit to some long discussion or pushy sales pitch. There is no implied demand for a certain level of participation. They don’t have to defend themselves from some needy agenda. They feel safe to respond freely, without fear of provoking anger or encouraging neediness.
When I open a set, I don’t need to impress them, or win their approval, or prove myself to anyone. I just offer the tiniest bit of conversational value—just being friendly—and all I need is for someone to bite just enough so that I can toss them the next bit, and the next bit.
The best way is to open sets that are already in your proximity, so that you don’t have to approach them in the first place.
If you must approach a set in order to get close enough to open them, draw near to them at a 45-degree angle. Walk very slowly and comfortably, as though you are in your own world. Don’t walk straight toward them or come from directly behind them. Do all these things for the same reason that you would avoid spooking an animal.
As you walk along that curve and get closer to the group, you then “notice” them out of the corner of your eye, and then you “spontaneously” think to open them. That is when you turn your head naturally, and open them over your shoulder.
To disarm any suspicions, use false time constraints and body rocking. It is very disarming when you come across as carefree and unaffected.
Do not turn your body to face toward the group until they are turning toward you in the same way. If you appear eager, you could get blown out. Be aware of how the value differential is affected by your physical positioning.
Remember, if you do not add value, then you are just another guy who’s only here to get something.
The energy level of your personality should be calibrated to be high enough to stimulate the set, but without spooking them. The reason I say to calibrate energy levels is that it will spook the set if you come in too energetically. Anyone who has approached a thousand sets will already know this intuitively, so get a feel for it.
Don’t milk the opener— just take control of the conversation and practice stacking forward to your next piece of material. Better yet, vibe with them and practice getting into a fun, humorous mood, which is more important than using canned routines. Routines are only training wheels to get you started.
“Stack the openers and yes, if an opener doesn’t work, don’t finish it. Just cut yourself off and open with another one (stacking) just like a comedian does if a joke starts to stall the audience. He just drops it and moves on to another bit from scratch. You’ve got to be super ready for this. And, if you finally open the set, you can—but only if you want—go back and finish up open threads during the pickup.”
“There is no such thing as a second first impression,” I replied. “It’s a ‘one time at bat’ sort of thing. A girl will decide, based on the first five minutes of knowing you, whether or not she is interested.
Passion is not something that builds over weeks but instead ignites instantly. The best relationships come from beginning passionately.
“That is the plan. Train as if every girl is merely practice for the next one and you won’t get nervous to mess up, because nothing important is on the line. Once you start playing, it’s more fun. The first three approaches are always the hardest of the night.
“Sometimes it’s hard to view practicing pickup as fun!” exclaimed Adam. “Personally,” I said, “I think it’s a blast. If, after all the stress and fear, you aren’t having fun practicing pickup, you need to get yourself another hobby.
Go out alone. All the best Venusian artists do it. It’s fun to explore by yourself. Approach everyone. Become a social guy. Fake your smile. It will biofeedback and make you feel better. Crash and burn. Experiment! Open hotties with “So … who the hell are you?” Talk to strangers. Don’t try to make them like you. Instead, make them think you are from the future.
“Think of this as surfing,” I said. “It’s like you’re surfing people and every potential approach is the next wave. And you have to take them all on. Or think of it as a video game.”
“Well,” I said, “first of all, consider removing redundant sentences from your intro. How are you? Excuse me. How’s it going? How are you tonight? How are you today? Can I ask you a
“Starting the conversation by asking for directions is bad, because it will cause an uncomfortable transition when you change the thread to something more conversational.
Also, it’s not asking directions. Girls know that is a possible line. They are cautious and you haven’t disarmed them. The Elvis Script disarms the ‘he’s hitting on me’ emotion.”
Just look around sometime and notice that most guys hold their drinks up high—higher than heart level even. Those are the scared ones. I wonder if you can remember where you had your drink all this time. If it’s high up, it’s time to change, ‘cause you are conveying fear. Leave the drink at the bar!”
Smile 100 percent of the time. Smile at everyone! Eye contact to all in the group. Don’t wait for a smile back. Say hi. Pause and then use your opener. Don’t be a smart-ass. Don’t annoy. Be genuine.
“I can’t believe that so many people hit up against the bitch shield and they actually think she is really like that. They leave thinking, ‘Oh man, I’m glad I didn’t get her; she’s such a bitch.’ Well, by giving you the attitude, she got rid of you, yes? This is a typical tactic of particularly beautiful women. They learned this through years of men hitting on them to the point of annoyance. So you have to be different and not hit on them. That is what negs are all about.
“‘Excuse me’ sucks. It just doesn’t work. I wish it would but we all know it doesn’t. She doesn’t care. ‘Excuse me what? Fuck off. I’ve got better things to do than get hit on by some guy in a doorway, buddy.’ Never use ‘excuse me’ as an opener. Ever.
Please don’t introduce yourself and give an excuse as to why you approached, as this shows a low self-esteem. Don’t give reasons. Just talk. The only reason you should have is ‘I’m entertaining myself.’ Go in really fun. I mean point to things and say ‘Bam! Killed it!’ Don’t try to pick her up. Instead merely convey an amazing personality and let her close you.
Are your friends approaching groups? If they aren’t doing group theory, they’re cutting themselves off at the knees. There are women in the bar who went out by themselves, but they are few and far between. Most hotties are found in groups, plain and simple. And if you don’t go indirect, you’ll creep out the friends and possibly alienate them. It is a group, after all.
“You have a choice from here. Bail out with a ‘Pleasure meeting you’ or wing it for the rest of the set, ‘cause by now you are in. As long as you don’t hit on them in this first minute or two of talk and you convey confidence, charisma, a good sense of humor, smile, are well-dressed and groomed, and humorously neg the beauty of the group, you are money! Be the man they want. Be fun. Be funny. Let them hit on you. Be a cool friend, not a slimy pickup artist. If by the end of this minute-to-two-minute opening act, if a girl is interested she will respond; if not, move on. You are out to get good at this, so practice.
“Now is the time to stop just watching. Get into a fun mood—which I know is hard for the very first girl, but you can fake it—and walk up to many girls, attractive or not, and say hi. Remember to smile when you approach. Then, and here is the best part, say any nonstereotypical opening line you would like, and then after whatever banter you began with, say, ‘Pleasure meeting you,’ and walk off with a smile and a skip to your walk.
This is your mission. Talk to twenty women in one day. Go alone. Do not intimidate girls by having friends with you. Not one or two girls, either. Twenty. That is a realistic number. If you feel it isn’t, then I’m telling you now you are completely wrong and your emotions are fighting you. You will control these emotions head-on.
“You may get the formality of the introduction over with only after you have broken the ice. Let’s say they are laughing and asking you questions—a minute or two into it. That is when you can do the introduction. Unless they find you interesting, they don’t need to know your name.”
“You will begin to self-sabotage your situation by waiting. Enter now! You have to do so many approaches you will literally become numb. You will merely ignore the feelings. You will put yourself in the aware state so much per week that it just doesn’t matter anymore. It removes its own potency. I’ve crossed the barrier—honest! It works this way. I wouldn’t shit you.”
“At the moment of eye contact,” I said, “give her a big grin. I mean really smile. This will make her smile instantly. Bam. You can now walk straight over there and she will get all nervous and you will open with something interesting, but not hit on her. That is the power of eye contact. Walk up to her and enter with the Elvis Script. She wants to talk with you, and once you make her feel at ease that you aren’t a guy who is going to hit all over her, then you will be in. It’s a money situation to get a stare like that from a woman, but you have to take advantage of it and play it right.”
“Always be in a conversation with someone. And if you aren’t in set, open the first set you like within the first three seconds of seeing them. That’s the Three-Second Rule. That way you’ll always be in set, and therefore you’ll always have maximum social proof. I believe strongly in getting into a club and getting into the action and approaching immediately. Waiting and scoping around is lame.”
“Consider increasing your statistical chances of success with women by increasing your chances at every phase. Get better at getting out more. Get better at approaching more and more quickly. Get better at the approach itself. Increase your chances with the attraction by dressing better more consistently. Increase your chances of succeeding past the next-day phone call by incorporating your phone rules into your close. Increase this also by kiss closing instead of just number closing. And, increase your chance of success by approaching women when the variables are not all there.
THE THIRTEEN STEPS OF THE APPROACH 1) Smile when you walk into the room. See the group with the target and enter, Three-Second Rule. Say ‘Hi.’ Smile. 2) Recite a memorized opener, if not two or three in a row. 3) The opener should open the group. When talking, ignore the target for the most part. This is active disinterest. 4) Neg the target with one of the slew of negs we’ve come up with. 5) Convey personality to the entire group (using stories, humor, anecdotes, games, vibing), paying particular attention to the obstacles. During this time, the target sees you are the center of attention. You may do various memorized routines, such as the photo routine, to an obstacle and say to the target, for example when she wants to look at the pictures, “Wait your turn. Wow, is she always like this?” 6) Neg the target again if appropriate. 7) Ask “So how does everyone know each other?” If the target is with one of the guys, find out how long they’ve been together. If a long time, eject with “Pleasure meeting you.” 8) If she is not with one of the guys, say to the group, “I’ve sorta been alienating your friend [target]. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?” They always say, “Uh, sure, if it’s okay with her.” 9) Isolate her from the group by taking her one-on-one to sit with you. As you do, do a hand kino test. (Does she squeeze back when you hold her hand, directing her through the crowd?) Start looking for IOIs. 10) Sit with her and do a connection routine. That’s your reason for isolating. Or an ESP test where you hold her hands (again looking for IOIs). Then do the digital camera routine. 11) Tell her beauty is common but great energy and outlook is rare. “What do you have inside that would make me want to know you more than a mere face in the crowd?” If she begins to give qualities, this is a positive IOI. 12) Stop talking. Does she reinitiate the chat with “So …”? If so, you’ve seen three IOIs and can … 13) Kiss close. Right out of the blue. “Would you like to kiss me?” If this is impossible to perform due to the situation, then time-constraint yourself and say, “I have to go but we should continue this.” Number close, give phone rules, and leave.